So I got myself sucked into watching Intervention tonight. The topic: an anorexic woman. As I sat, mesmerized by the show, I was reminded of how truly blessed I am to have people in my life that haven't given up on, who love me regardless of what I put myself - and therefore them - through.
It's hard to accept and comprehend the effect I know I had/have on them. The stress and worrying that I've inflicted...
I don't know...it's hard to explain...I'm just so grateful to my true friends and family that haven't given up. I wouldn't take back the last 4.5 years...but I am so sorry for the pain I've caused. As corny as it sounds, this regret pushes me to work on recovery so I can give back to those people - to thank them for their faith in me by reaching my goals and living the life I so desperately need to.
I'm not giving up. I never will. There's far too much joy and wonder in the world. There's far too much heartache that teaches valuable lessons...far too many laughing fits...cuddle sessions...coffee with an old friend...wedding cake...christmas cookies...beaches...fireplaces to fall asleep in front of...etc.
I'm scared...and that's ok...as long as I keep pushing forward. As Eleanor Roosevelt said..."do one thing every day that scares you." It's time I started doing that again. I'm going to be fine.
2 comments:
I watched Intervention last night too. It really impacted me too...to hear her stepfather say he didn't like her and never wanted anything to do with her again...to have her husband abandon her...we are so blessed that we have family and friends who have stuck with us. I'm proud of you and love you and will always be there for my Dev. :)
Awww I love you so very much too my dear. You know how proud I am of you - I always will be...no matter what.
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