I'm Feeling Empowered...

This post is lovingly dedicated to all those people that it’s about. Here’s to the words I want to throw at you and, hopefully, one day will.

Kory:
You are, in no way, a man. A man wouldn’t play such trivial and harsh games. A man would be considerate instead of conniving, sincere instead of a liar. You have perpetually disappointed me. Today marked the lucky 5th time you’ve ‘stood me up’. I can finally say that it’s your own damn loss. The fact that I expected it speaks highly of your ineptitude and disregard for…plain decency. I’m telling myself that I couldn’t care less. Some of the time I even believe it. Oh, and p.s….you think I don’t know that you then hide yourself away like a coward – thinking I have no clue? You’re sorely mistaken because, in fact, I’m laughing at you and your ineptitude at respect.

I’m busy trying to tell myself that I have every right to bitch you out. The thing is – are you even deserving of my time and thought? I’d like to tell myself no. So therefore, I will simply turn my back. If, no, when you come crawling back with excuses saying you’re sorry…maybe at that point I will expel some carefully chosen words on you. Until then – I don’t care. Asshole.

Marco Polo:
First things first…I’m just as beautiful with short hair as I am with long. If you can’t see that and find it totally acceptable to tell me my pretty points have gone down a notch – you deserve what you’ll get…nothing. I will not stand to be your weekday girl. Your girl that you’ll go on a break for. The girl you’d date…if you were on the west coast. Since I’m not…apparently it sucks to be me. I will not be your girl of convenience. I deserve more – just as a human with feelings I deserve more. I will not sleep with you this Christmas. I’m worth more than a last ‘good fuck’. I will not grow my hair out for you. I will not refrain from getting close to someone…just to appease you. You will NOT show up at my wedding and say you oppose. You will not threaten me like that. I deserve more than your physically-based affection. When all you want to talk about when you call is sex…that tells me you do not appreciate my intellect, passions, dreams, etc. Only my body and what you still, stupidly, think I’ll give you. If I ever second guess this decision – it’s only a matter of reading back over it…of remembering all the promises you tore from my fingers…of the various positions you’ve thrown me into.

Remember – I’m dating Brian partially due to you. You kept pushing me to date. I would imagine you’re regretting it now. As you should be…he’s allowed me to realize how little respect you show me and how incredibly much more I deserve. You are not my Pedestal MP…you are, in actuality, far from it. It’s unfortunate – but undeniable any longer.

I hope you eventually gain enough insight to know that the way you treat women shows nothing but immaturity and a lack of concern for others’ feelings. I’m done with it. Now all that’s left is to tell you this. No, you’ll never hear this version…although I wish I’d allow myself to share it with you. It’ll be enough to give myself respect and turn away. It won’t be long. Finally. I’m ready. Almost.