I ripped the bandaid

...and it hurt...but it needed to be done.

Mark had me read his myspace which blatently professed his love for She Who Shall Not Be Named. He then informed me that he simply "couldn't date two women". I wasn't aware that we were dating...but ok.

I thought I was ok...went to sleep afterwards and then got up and went to work. I talked to my mom on the way, explaining that I was either ok or rediculously numb.

That night, Mark decided to call again to "see how I was doing". I said I was fine and then we ended the conversation.

A few minutes after though, I realized that I wasn't ok. It was time to put everything "Mark" away. That was definitely something I'd been putting off and it was so incredibly hard to rip the bandaid off. I couldn't stop crying - they were the silent sobs and shook my entire body. I ended up calling my mom and we talked for over an hour. I begged her to tell me I was doing the right thing, that he isn't my penguin, etc.

The funny/cool/weird part of it was that before I gave in and called her, I really just wanted to call Brian and be comforted. I would have if it had been about anything other than Mark.


So I guess, for anyone reading this (especially Brie) I would love if you could just validate that what I did was what needed to happen. He's talking to me on AIM right now telling me how he's looked at my picture and listened to our song, etc. Of course, I'm latching on to every damn word.

I just need to remember that my Penguin wouldn't treat me with such disrespect. He wouldn't lead me on, make me cry countless times, throw me out, only talk to me when convenient, etc. I deserve love, honor, faithfulness, etc. Somewhere out there is that person. Somewhere.