Whoa - Hold Those Horses

Goodnessssssssss!

So someone here just read through allllllll of her previous blog posts. Thank goodness I'm not as fabulous as Brie. If so I'd be here for days reading my posts. As it is, I don't update often. I realized as I read through them that I allow wayyyyyyyy too much drama into my life! Seriously - what the hell is that all about?

I mean I get that I'm 20 and that's the time for drama, but I feel like it's super lame. The amount of time I've devoted to crying and worrying over Mark could have been muchhhhhhhhhh better spent. I could have gone on a gazillion hikes, made oodles of money to fly home and visit the fam and friends, etc. What a lamo waste! Then there was all the time devoted to Kory....and Brian....and everyone! Even with Ryan honestly. I guess it's super easy for me to say right now...but when I'm in the 'throes of pain and angst' it's a tad bit harder to remain logical. Good thing I'm not always like that, huh? Life would be uber sucky if I was.

I find myself editing and censoring what I write in here sometimes in case certain people end up reading it. Kinda makes sense when I'm freaked out that I won't be loved for my true self. It's always easier to pretend isn't it? Somehow I'm not a fan. Shouldn't I expose myself to see who truly care? Isn't that a good thing in the end?

PS - I know this doesn't make a ton of sense....


Next topic!

I have made a new friend - not the associate sort of friend, but the true friend. 'True' friends are the ones you tell secrets to. They're the ones you want to keep in contact with even if you move. I have several from home and I'm working on discovering them here in the SLC as well. C is lots of fun - he doesn't hit too hard when I annoy him with the wave. I find that a plus. What I find more of a plus is his willingness to share deep dark things. I think that promotes a mutual sharing of the yucky stuff as well as the happy stuff. I'm all for it.

Why do certain people have so much shit to deal with in their life? I don't think it's fair. I don't think it's fair that C had to be the 'bigger person'. I think it's damn horrible actually. I don't think it's fair that he has to know friends that die defending our freedom - which no one seems to care about much anymore. I don't think it's fair at all. I get that we can't have easy lives but wouldn't it be sweet if we could? Blah blah blah - you can't appreciate the good without the bad - yeah I know it. It still hurts me to see other people hurting so profusely.

Ugh to that.

Can we just agree that sea turtles are pretty much the coolest things ever? I sent R a fabulous link that detailed how they have sex. Weird yes, but admit it - kinda doesn't make sense - now you're wondering too aren't you? So now R and I are no longer wondering. Life is complete. I drew sea turtles today in class because I'm amazing. Now I realllllllllly need to go to Hawaii again - woo less than 24 months...how sad does that sound? Guess I'll just have to dream until then.


This is way random and so I shall end. Look for a fabulous post soon on the wonders of not having children and instead being the amazing spoiling aunt. Go me. Go you. Go all of us, yo!